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Felce Arto

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Showing posts with label wheee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wheee. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Life Lessons Learned on a Bus

Another installment of a peek into the mind of my high school self. Another installment of I haven't really changed. Another installment of why don't I write like this anymore? Another installment of, right, I don't take the time to. Another installment of, well what are you going to do about it?
Now, go.


Life Lessons Learned on a Bus

As I stroll toward the bus stop, I restlessly finger the smooth token whose clones have found a daily home in the pocket of my favorite jeans. Before, its dulled golden center rimmed with a wide band of silver spoke of exciting travels in some foreign country. Now, it’s just the fare for my ride home. I used to scrutinize every facet of the token and feel the raised words and designs. I used to get excited like a five year old in Disneyland when I got to take the bus home. But repetition takes its toll. The once impressive token and adventurous bus ride has turned into a tedious and unwanted addition to my busy high school days.

Lost in my thoughts, I step up into the bus, feed the token to the hungry fare box and wait absentmindedly for my bus transfer. The bus driver hands the rectangular slip to me and without a second thought, I trundle toward the back of the bus hunting for a seat, preferably several empty ones in a row, where I can retain some semblance of my treasured personal space. Alas, the only vacancies are singletons scattered randomly throughout the bus. Yet again, I will have to rub shoulders with complete strangers, all of whom are wrapped up in their own little worlds. Which, in all honesty, is perfectly fine by me. I have more than enough worries, ideas, and random thoughts to keep myself occupied in my own little world during the lengthy ride home.

As the bus starts off again, it slowly becomes apparent that not everyone in the bus is isolated in solitary worlds. Near the front of the bus, a large man with scraggly brown hair and large glasses happily chatters, patters, natters, then chatters again to all and anyone who will listen. He’s like a human megaphone booming his childlike enjoyment of the nuances of life throughout the length of the bus. He doesn’t seem to care – or maybe it doesn’t occur to him – that other people may not want to hear his stories. Yet… there’s something about this man that begins to draw my attention. My solitary world begins to expand slightly as snippets of his chatter filter through my senses.

The bus grinds to a halt at a shady spot downtown for a single passenger. As he steps onto the bus, I note his ripped, grimy clothes and greasy, unwashed hair. He carries a bulging trash bag and I can’t help but wonder what circumstance caused his demise. Perhaps he had a comfortable life at one time or mayb– Ugh. That smell! Light travels faster than smell but the latter certainly demands the most attention. I don’t seem to be the only one whose solitary world has been permeated by the man’s inescapable reek. Aren’t there places where he can go to take a shower? Just one shower would do so much… just one.

The grimy man sits across from me and next to a lean woman who shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Her body instinctively slants away from the man as her hand moves toward her nose in a purposefully vague motion. She makes eye contact across the aisle with the man seated to my left and makes a slight face. A glance. A grimace. A glance and a grimace. That is all it takes to form a connection, a thread, between the two solitary worlds. That is all it takes to erect a wall for the deliberate exclusion of another. That is all it takes to reveal to me that cliques extend far beyond the dramas of the high school scene. That is all it takes to show the power of actions. The bus stops and the woman stands up with an air of relief, interrupting the exclusive connection, and exits the bus without a word.

A young Asian American man with sharp spiked hair, a tight white muscle shirt and a tattoo of a sun creeping over his left shoulder enters and fills the freshly evacuated seat. As the bus begins to move, he leans forward with his hands together and his elbows resting on his knees while a half-empty Coke bottle dangles from his fingers. I follow his tapping feet to the grimy man’s torn and tattered shoes to the immaculate high heels of the African American businesswoman sitting next to him. She sits tall in her seat as she taps efficiently on her PDA with her stylus. I follow the rapid movements of her hand to the motionless hands of the woman next to her whose only movement comes from the jostling of the bus. Her entire body is covered in dark blue, accented by a light gray head covering which frames a dark face with expressive eyes. I follow her head covering and dark eyes to the baseball hat and closed eyes of the old Latino man sitting next to her. He leans wearily on his armrest with his chin in his hand and a transfer pass in his fist.

Five seats.

Five people.

Five cultures.

Five different walks of life that convene for a momentary journey together on the bus before each hurtles off in their own directions and after their own dreams.

As my eyes travel back over the group, I realize that this group is America; the land where differences in cultures can be accepted and understood, the land where communities and connections are created between the most unexpected people, the land where… I become aware of the rhythm of the man’s rapping feet… the tapping of the woman’s stylus… the movements of the covered woman… the rustle of the old man’s bus transfer… the heavy breathing of the grimy man … the rhythm and the beat… the rhythm and the beat… the rhythm and the be–

A sudden piercing screech of abrupt brakes jerks me out of my rhythmic world as all of our bodies jolt heavily toward the front of the bus and we grab at whatever we can for support. After the initial shock, as the bus pulls into the next stop, a frazzled woman behind me begins to curse angrily at the driver as she grabs at her many bags of fallen groceries in frustration. A teenage boy with a Mohawk and headphones wrapped around his head quickly jumps to her aid, helping her to carry her bags out of the bus. The frazzled woman smiles at him with gratitude touched with a hint of surprise as I turn around and note the half-full Coke bottle dangling from the fingers of the foot-rapping man.

I turn back again and look at the mohawked teenager with a surprise similar to the frazzled woman’s. I had seen him and immediately shoved him into a box of a molded stereotype: Mohawk + Piercings = Uncaring Troublemaker. By his simple action he had destroyed his box, perhaps for more people than just the frazzled lady and I. By his simple action he had bettered the day of one person in particular and perhaps he had even caused a chain reaction of little acts of kindness.

With one last enlightened glance, I stand up and head toward the front as the bus slows to a stop. Yes, each person on this bus may be in their own little world, but we share a larger world, even if it’s just the slightly larger world of the bus. And it doesn’t take very much for a connection in this larger world to be made. Just an action or a word or two could–

“Wait!” yells a voice behind me as I hop out of the bus. I glance over my shoulder and see the grimy man dashing after me with my little blue cell phone clasped high over his head in his hand.

“Wait!” he repeated again, “You left your cell phone on your seat.”

I freeze for a moment remembering my stereotypes, my thoughts, and my connections, both past and present, to people encountered.

A connection is to be found by two powerful words.

“Thank you.”

The kind man smiles, nods, and darts back into the bus with a friendly wave.

“Thank you.”

Saturday, February 6, 2010

A Wild Sheep Chase, Chapter 35 ¾

Part Two of a peek into the mind of my high school self, this round via an English assignment in my sophomore year. (Part one here.) We were to write an additional chapter for a book. I chose A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami.

Now, I fully admit to being slightly kooky. I also fully admit to being a sponge. I easily absorb people's styles and writing styles. The latter absorption becomes problematic after reading authors like Faulker because my sentences grow from lengthy to unending. However, when reading a slightly kooky book like A Wild Sheep Chase--a book which I highly recommend--the absorption tendency can lead to some, well, interesting, results...


A Wild Sheep Chase
by Haruki Murakami
Translated from Japanese by Alfred Birnbaum

Chapter 35 ¾
ð
Pliers That Jabber and Rap

The glaring sun seemed to have a way of hooking weights surreptitiously onto my eyelids. I looked out over the pasture through diminishing slits and it wasn’t long before my head drooped over with its heavy load.

I dreamed about the dairy cow again. Except this time, it had an uncanny resemblance to the Sheep Man. The cow still wanted pliers in exchange for the old electric fan so I ransacked the Rat’s house looking for those evasive pliers. Dust flew in little clouds around me like those hastily drawn in a comic strip. Then one of the dust clouds pulled together with a loud sucking *thwooop* and materialized into the Sheep Man. He was staggering around in circles like a drunkard because of the weight of a gigantic pair of red furry pliers. The pliers had a star on what would be its back, if pliers had backs. I started to wrestle with the Sheep Man for the pliers when a sudden spurt of efficient raps on the door made me start and loose my grip.

I opened my eyes and squinted violently at the sunbeam that fell across the door. The raps became more insistent. How is it that the manner in which one knocks on a door sounds exactly like the manner of their voices? There were deep booming door knocks that shook the foundations of the earth. Those went with the deep booming voices that blew you off your feet and onto the floor with an ungainly crash. Then there are voices and door knocks like this present jabbering rap that eats its way into every fiber of your being, annoying and aggravating every cell until the one responsible for the rapping is pacified.

A Short Little Tale Regarding the Importance of Mushrooms

A peek into the mind of my high school self (November 2003!) via a short story I wrote for English in my junior year. Unfortunately, the external harddrive on which all my pre-college work resided went and died on me, so this is one of the few digital bits that remain. Thanks to... get this... a floppy disc! It had two whole word documents on it, the second of which is titled, A Wild Sheep Chase, Chapter 35 ¾.

So why post this? For one, I like traipsing into the mind of past selves. For two, it reflects my high school concerns quite well. And, for three, threads of those high school concerns have wound their way into the present. Things evolve as time progresses, but do they really change?

Note: My high school self had a thing for mushrooms. It showed up in my nickname, in a series I did for art, and of course, this story... So, without further ado...



A Short Little Tale Regarding the Importance of Mushrooms

In a world entirely unrelated to our own, the pursuit of life is not happiness, but mushrooms. Now before you start to think of little people zooming around and snatching more mushrooms to add to the already large piles in their arms, understand this – these mushrooms are not ones you eat. It has never even so much as crossed the minds of the inhabitants of the world that mushrooms are items to be ingested. Mushrooms grow, most certainly, but not in the way you might imagine…

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Joker, The Job Search and The Wanderer

I never thought I'd find career/job search encouragement in the Joker from The Dark Knight. But I (and many others) did.

After a particularly worry-rampant night (hah. I almost typed knight), I woke to find a post from The Simple Dollar entitled The Best Career Advice: Do Stuff. It had some excellent advice and pointed to this wonderfully freeing post from the blog Hoehn's Musings. Here's a snippet:
My favorite part of The Dark Knight is when the Joker is talking to Harvey Dent in the hospital, and he says: “Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just DO things… I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.”

And therein lies the best career advice I could possibly dispense: just DO things. Chase after the things that interest you and make you happy. Stop acting like you have a set path, because you don’t. No one does. You shouldn’t be trying to check off the boxes of life; they aren’t real and they were created by other people, not you. There is no explicit path I’m following, and I’m not walking in anyone else’s footsteps. I’m making it up as I go.
Heck yes.

Unfortunately, as much as I resonate with both posts linked above, what I tell myself about the job search and my future and how I actually feel about it aren't always on the same page.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ode to Heat

The streets are unbalanced
Tipping with weight of pedestrians
Who gravitate to the side less touched by sun.

We seek shade.

Squares, plazas, seats,
Full in the morning shade
Ghosted by afternoon sun.

Life clusters under shelter.

Even then
The indecision of the breeze
Makes shaded relief temporary.

Walking. Dripping.

Museums, libraries, info centers.
Cool wisps of air beckon enticingly
From their briefly opened doors
Whispering a single promise.
Air conditioning.

But the sun is life
And the blue is joy
And the spring that feels like summer
Of 94 degrees in November
Leads to one conclusion.

It's slurpee season.


(Tapped in the shade at 37"49'05.47S 144"58'07.99E)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Days 26-28, in journal pages

Click for mildly larger images...

A house in the Lake Tekapo neighborhood was selling massive pinecones as big as my head (or so it seemed). They were quite hefty and almost as prickly as a durian. Ouch. A hardcore kayaker we met in Tailor-made-Tekapo Backpackers bought one for his mate who laughed at him and refused to take it. So they made the above impromptu sculpture and were contemplating lighting the dang candle. Crazy kayakers.

A seismograph of sorts. Lake Tekapo en route to Christchurch. These were attempts at straight lines. Buses are bumpy.

Went to the Christchurch Art Gallery. Terrible gallery tour left me drained so I refueled with a mocha (which they pronounce more as mok-ka than mow-ka). This old man was sitting there, mildly glum and entirely uninteractive with the woman across from him.

A rubbing of a plaque on a bench in the rose gardens. "This place you came to reflects the beauty of your soul." It makes my heart happy!

I sat in the Botanic Gardens today, basking in glorious sunlight and laughing at the ducks splashing in the large puddle lakes left over from the morning's downpour. They move far too much to be captured in more than gesture.


Nuf said.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Ode to Lost Things

I've left a trail of myself all over New Zealand.

My gray Westmont zip-up hoodie in Auckland, my bright orange ear plugs scattered one by one in a range of hostels from north to south, my cold blue ice pack in Wanaka, and now, my trusty black wallet wandering somewhere between Oamaru and Lake Tekapo. Not to mention the most recent loss of my cooking oil in Tailor-Made Tekapo Backpackers. Ah mental lapses and rushing against time toward arriving buses. How you slowly strip me of my possessions.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

On the quandary of color

Latitude: 44" 00' 06.95 S
Longitude: 170" 28' 49.25 E

Blue is the color of this lake.
That's a lie.
It's green. Greenish-blue. Um. Teal?

Sky is the colour of this lake.
A greener version of the sky.
This colour's lightness belongs in the sky,
not held down on earth, trapped in this lake.

But if it were in the sky,
I'd think the grass had seeped upward to contaminate the sky.

There's just no way to win.
This color is unnatural.

Scott calls it gatorade.

Gatorade is the color of this lake.
Gatorade should not be the color of any lake.

There's exactly one place in nature where this color would be at home: in a hot tropical beach surrounded by bright green palm trees, glowing golden sands and a blinding hot sun.

But no, it's here in the South Island of New Zealand with a chilly breeze and a crisp sun muted by vague clouds. Here, preceded by chalky white rocks that will undoubtedly transfer its white powder to the seat of my dark black pants. Here, bordered by dry, brownish green hills that could easily be transplanted to sunny southern California in the heat of fire season. Here, followed by icy bluish mountains capped with snow.

There is something unfailingly epic about snow capped mountains.

But epic bluish brown snow capped mountains don't fit with unnatural Gatorade blue-green teal sky-seeped-grass colored water that should only be paired with a blazingly hot beach.

Pictures were attempted. But the camera mocks me by adjusting the color until the lake only displays a brilliant blue. None of this green-teal-grass-seepage business.

Maybe that's the color other people see as well. We don't really have a way of knowing how different our perceptions of colors are from other people's. That bothers me sometimes.

This landscape, these colors… They only fit together when you jump off a tour bus in the company of a hoard of camera-wielding tourists, squinting at nature through layers of plastic and technology. Shoot and run. Shoot and run pile hoard back onto the bus.

But to sit here at 44" 00' 06.95 S, 170" 28' 49.25 E, contemplating this landscape and these colors? I'm befuddled.

What a quandary.

Friday, October 23, 2009

On Fern and Scott

On choosing a hostel
Fern: Not a Magic bus hostel! Book exchange!
Scott: Free soup! Free cake!

On shops that get us excited
Fern:
Bookshops! Art stores!
Scott: Honey shop! Ice cream! BAKERY!

On what to do in Nelson
Fern: World of WearableArt museum!
Scott: Beer tasting! 

On hikes
Fern: Cool tree! I want a picture of it!
Scott: Cool tree! I want to climb it!

On what to do in Wanaka
Fern: Write, read, sit… coffee shop!
Scott: Climb Mt. Roy on steep 5 hr hike!

On walk in the dark to find glow worms
Fern: This is creepy. I want light.
Scott: It'd be awesome if we ran into a velicoraptor right now.

On Lake Wanaka
Fern: Mmm, look at that COLOR! *mental freakout* It's so BLUE!
Scott: Nessie, ooh, no, orca whale man, rising from the depths to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting township! Bwahahahaaa

On the big dinosaur slide in the park
Fern: Wheee!
Scott: Slide!

And we take turns sliding down, giddy with glee

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Things that bring me joy!

  • Bunny butts (that is, the flash of their white tails as they hop around)
  • A patch of blue sky and the sudden emergence of sunlight after constant clouds and rain
  • Seeing Ferns in company names and logos everywhere in NZ
  • Meaningful connections with strangers no matter how brief
  • Separating from the Magic Bus by means of a different hostel or taking the Intercity bus instead
  • Sheepies and lamblets!
  • Gorgeous landscapes stretching out below you in the light of a sunset
  • Light!
  • Unexpectedly finding a lovely handmade blank journal in an artist's co-op shop when the previous journal is down to its last page.
  • Eavesdropping. Hehe.
  • Baaing at sheep, barking at dogs, quacking at ducks, clucking at chickens, mooing at cows
  • Quirky hostels like the Funky Green Voyager (Rotorua), The Green Monkey (Nelson), and Wanaka Bakpaka (Wanaka)
  • Fish and chips ice cream. That is, chocolate fish and chocolate chips
  • Reverting to childhood joys by giddily running up the dinosaur's tail and sliding gleefully down its neck.
  • Little kids with Kiwi accents
  • A resurgence of energy and creativity after much needed downtime and solitude

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Fern Speak.

In other words, what a few packed days and poor-sleep nights produce. This is a sampling of what I said over the course of our lunch stop:


So today I'm more...
Words failing oh wait
Yeah, that is- I'm done.

Well, I think it's just
Or maybe- ngaaaaagh!!

I'm done.

I've been recently being-
*giggle!*
It's just not working.


May Scott be blessed by a babel fish to stick in his ear to translate Fern Speak for him.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Skydiving!

Today I skydived.

Today I skydove.

Today I went on a skydive. There.

This morning I had no idea I'd be going on a skydive. I woke up in Rotorua at 6:15 AM. Walked to the bus stop. And waited. The bus didn't show. Magic Bus, or more accurately, our last Magic Bus driver, screwed up by giving us the wrong pick-up location thus leaving us stranded. We hates Magic!

So we caught an Intercity Bus south to Taupo. It made me feel like a real traveler using non-tour transportation. It was absolutely lovely.

Since we'd be arriving in Taupo at 10 AM with Intercity rather than at 4 PM with Magic, we figured we'd try to get our free skydive a day early.

"Sure!" said the very chipper Lisa at the Taupo Tandem Skydive. So it was set. At 11:40 AM, we'd skydive. That was unexpected.

We call at 11:10 AM to confirm. Friendly Lisa told us, sorry, the weather is unfavorable. Clouds and rain. No go for skydiving.

Reschedule for 12:50 PM.

Call at 12:20 PM. Sorry, says nice Lisa, the weather is still crap. We've postponed everything 'til 2 PM.

I'm not expecting much. So I take a nap.

Scott calls again at 1:30 PM.

"Call back in 5 minutes."

Scott calls at 1:35 PM.

"Call back in 5 minutes."

Scott calls at 1:40 PM.

It's ON! "The shuttle will pick you up in 15 minutes."

Uh, okay! I hurry and gather my stuff. I'm still stuck in a haze from lack of sleep the previous night, general irritability and my recent semi-nap.

We pile in the shuttle with 6 other people. One girl looks terrified beyond belief. I'm still rather indifferent.

I'm going skydiving right next to a lake larger than the size of Singapore in weather conditions that postponed the dive on multiple occasions. Shouldn't I be nervous?



We suit up in bright orange jumpers slightly reminiscent of prison and a baby's onesie. Odd combination.

They help us put on a lifejacket belt and completely awkward harnesses. "Can you breathe?" asks the lady. "Yup, no problem at all," I reply with ease. "That's not good," says she. Oh dear.

Finally we're all prisoned/babied/tightened/secured. Sorta like this group who went after us:



They eyed us skydive survivors with trepidation and awe as we walked back like we were an Apollo mission going to the moon or group of Hollywood movie heroes who just saved the world from complete annihilation.

I'm totally making that up by the way. Except for the part where they eyed us with trepidation. Shouldn't they eye us with relief since we who went before them didn't die or break or dismember anything?

We clambered into the cramped plane. Skydiving makes sitting on a stranger's lap, awkward spread-legged positions and a complete lack of personal boundaries entirely acceptable. We are a many-layered human sandwich of yellow and orange.

I have yell-conversations with my instructor. He takes my lack of nervousness and absence of hand-wringing as a challenge. "We're at 2000 feet," he yells, shoving his wrist-strapped altimeter in front of my face. "This is where we try to open the parachute. TRY." I laugh at him.

Moments later... "So, if there's a choice between landing among horses and bulls, which would you rather?" I ask if he can maneuver us to land ON a horse. "Do you ride?" he asks. "Nope!" I yell. "Then it's probably not a good idea," says he. Well, pfft! You're the one trying to scare me with talk of landing in the middle of a herd of large animals! We might as well get some horseback riding in if that's the case.

Moments later... "Can you swim?" Yessir. You're gonna have to do better than that if you're trying to freak me out.

Well, he didn't really have to try much longer. Because suddenly, less than half a minute after telling me we might have to hover for a while as the pilot looked for a clearing in the clouds below us, the side panel was lifting loudly, and the first skydiver was leaping into a freakin freezing free fall.

And I was next.

I am very happy to report that I do not have any video or photographic evidence of the terror on my face during the first few seconds of freefall. I don't think I felt that terrified. But I remember the muscles on my face freezing into a mush of terror and worry and oh my god, I can't breathe panic. It's cold air rushing past you. The initial tilt as you fall from semi-vertical to face first with nothing but cold grey unfriendly clouds beneath you. Not even beneath you. That would imply looking down toward your feet. No, this was like a stomach flop onto cold and blasting nothing. I breathed through a wide open mouth as if that would help. I'm fine with falling. Really. It's the turns and twists and anything but straight forward straight down that really messes with my head.

It was exhilarating!

My tandem guy had to mime opening my arms to me because I wasn't confident that the nudge on my shoulder was really him tapping me to tell me I could let my arms fly free. In hindsight I wish I'd done something ridiculous like flap my arms like a flailing bird. As it was, I yelled something that was incoherently gleeful.

The parachute opened and it was just tandem dude and me gliding down with gorgeous views over all three hundred and sixty degrees. Snow covered mountains (including Mount Doom) to the south. The lake larger than Singapore to the west. Farms and green all around. Tandem guy yelled, "Look! Baby cows!" and proceeded to tell me that he recently saw one cow giving birth and that it was cool. And disgusting. Tandem guy was highly amusing. I enjoyed him.

Looking all around me was beautiful. Looking directly down put our height in perspective and really really messed with my head.

"Wanna direct the parachute?" he asked.

YES.!!

So I stuck my hands underneath his in the loops. Yank down on the left to swirl left, yank down on the right to swirl right. Easy peasy!

It was fine and dandy until he took his hands out of the loops leaving my nervous hands completely in charge of the parachute.

"BAD IDEA!!!" I yelped!
"Well, it's your life," he said.
"Yeah, yours too!" I replied.
"Shit." (That would be him, not me. Though it would be an accurate representation of my sentiments as well.)

We were instructed to lift our legs up as we approached the ground. I was a bit over prepared and kept lifting my legs to a horizontal position too soon. In my defense, he told me to do so way too early just to mess with me. Most people did land on their feet. I didn't even try. It was butt down for me! After a second with my butt parked on the grass I yelped, "You mean I have to get up on my feet now on my own free will!?" As you can tell, yelping was a rather common occurrence today.

So I sat there on the ground for a bit longer, basking in the fall and glide until tandem guy laughed at me and yanked me to a standing position by way of my harness.

I skydovediveddidaskydivewheeee!

(They asked for your full name, so that's what I gave them. I figured it was in case you got maimed or died or something. I think it was just to make these things look more official. Ah well.)

My tandem dude Mikey H. obliged my shutterbugging tendencies. He also randomly had a pipe which I appropriated for the picture. It was fake.


The very sweet Lisa on the phone and at the front desk whispered conspiratorially to us about the existence of a YouTube video containing the aforementioned tandem dude, Mikey H (Michael Holmes), and a failed parachute. I YouTubed and Googled.

Turns out he survived a 12,000 foot free fall after his parachute failed to open. He waved goodbye to his camera as a farewell to life, crashed into a bush, and survived. 

Come to think of it, he did mention something about a man surviving a huge free fall after his  parachute failed. But we were kinda very high up in the air with a cap solidly over your ears where yelling loudly is no guarantee that all your words will be heard. I think he neglected to mentioned the rather important fact that this fail parachute dude was him.

So thank you nice phone-lady Lisa for not mentioning this to me before my skydive with my tandem dude whose parachute didn't open 2 years ago on a skydive from the same height that we did today.

Given that skydiving wasn't something I approached with great fear and trepidation (these horror stories did not make it to my ears until I was safely back in my hostel), I've decided that I need to go bungy jumping in Queenstown. Bungy jumping fills my heart with feaaar. Check back to see whether or not I go through with it.

And don't you dare send any bungy jumping horror stories my way.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Day 10, in snippets

Coffee shop? What coffee shop?
It was a wet day. Not nearly as wet and ridiculous as Opononi when Scott and I foolishly decided to go on a hike, thus giving all our clothes (and my backpack) a thorough soak in the rain. But still wet and grey enough to make me seek out a coffee shop to sit and warm my hands on a hot cup of mocha goodness.

But Rotorua doesn't seem to have any concept of coffee shops. "There's a Starbucks down the corner," said a lady at a bookstore. Starbucks?! Never!! I am from the USA. I am not in the USA. I must not go into Starbucks. Or McDonald's. Or Burger King. Or KFC. Even if the latter was wafting delicious fried greasy smells up my nose from a block away. Must… resist… yummy… smell… aggh! So I refused the Starbucks.

But street after street in the grey wet drizzle only revealed café after café. I gave up and settled down in Milly's, a bright yellow-filled café with two bright yellow couches in the corner, which I took as an indication that hanging out for a while would not be frowned upon. I read the local newspaper, wrote lots of postcards (hint: dear readers, I need your address), and sat there far longer than any other customer did. I will resist you Starbucks.

Polynesian Spa. A Minor Quandary
In my infinite wisdom, I decided to change into my swimsuit before heading out to the spa. Less stuff to carry across town, thought I! Then, after a lovely soak in the sulfurous hot pools at the Polynesian Spa, I meandered into the changing room only to encounter a minor quandary. My swimsuit which was my undies was currently drenched in hot sulfuric water. Do I put my clothes on over it and get awkward wet spots? Or do I strip off the wet and awkwardly go commando on all fronts? I eschewed the awkward wet spots.

Wet. It's all wet.
On the way back to the Funky Green Voyager (our freakin awesome hostel), I passed a delicious looking bookstore. Dripping wet swimsuits do not play well with bookstores, so I wrapped the dripping wet swimsuit in my tiny quick dry towel, burrito style. TADA! Burrito swimsuit plays well with delicious bookstore. Back in the hostel, I hop in the shower to unsulfuricize myself. Hop out of the shower. I'm dripping wet. As is my towel. I squeegee myself with the wet towel like you squeegee your windshield clean at the gas station. I still dripped. As did my towel.

Laundry... Surprise!
The tiny quick dry towel and the swimsuit were still sulfuricized even after scrubbing them with detergent in the shower. Gerard, the awesome funky owner of the Funky Green Voyager, came across me preparing to rinse out out my soaking sulfurous swimsuit. "Don't use that tap," he told me. "The water is full of sulfur. Use the tap by the washing machines instead."

Two days ago I did a hand washing blitz of most all of my clothes. (I don't have enough clothes to justify using a washing machine.) It's been cold all over New Zealand, so hanging clothes up results in fail dry. Hence, a hand wash blitz to take full advantage of the $2 dryer. As Owen from Guernsey said, clean laundry is the Holy Grail of backpackers. I had the Holy Grail two days ago. Unfortunately, I attained the Holy Grail by use of the aforementioned sink and tap that spews water full of sulfur. All my clothes are sulfurous. Holy Grail? POOF!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hobbiton!, In pictures

Cousin Ben was our driver from Rotorua to Matamata/Hobbiton. He was an extra in LotR as an orc! And he made it into the LotR location guidebook too. He's on the left and his brother is on the right.

He told us that they were paid crap wages at first. $40 a day, no breaks. Then someone had the bright idea to call up the local union. They all signed up (or however that works) and lo and behold their pay jumped to a decent $140 (or something) per day with breaks. It was interesting to hear how unglorified the job was, especially when Scott and I would gladly jump at the chance to be extras in the Hobbit for no pay at all.


Hobbiton! In the toilet. HAH.



Hobbiton is located in the middle of a large sheep farm.

I'm a huge fan of SHEEPIES!


At the beginning of FotR, Frodo's reading under a tree... this does not show that tree. However, when Frodo jumps up after reading and runs to Gandalf riding along in his cart... yes, it was in this grove of trees...



Wheee!



Sheepies like Hobbiton too.


 
Potential hobbit holes for The Hobbit? (Click for larger view!)

Our tour guide Benji with a lazy storytelling voice told us his boss has revealed nada.


Remember the field where Bilbo had his massive birthday party?

Benji: Would anyone like to dance on the party field?
Group: (awkward silence)
Fern: (chortling) I do!!!

Another girl, there with her sister and mother, decided she wouldn't mind making a fool of herself either, so we walked out into the party field and stood there holding hands while we tried to figure out what dance or dance pose to do. The result is as follows:

Dancing beneath the party tree with the lovely gal Lily. =)

Moments later...
Benji: Would anyone like to hug the party tree?
Group: (awkward silence)
Scott: Wanna?
Fern: (pause) Yeah!

Hugging the party tree. We likes the party tree.


Next we see locations of former sets that only have colored posts to hint at their existence:

The red marks the bridge, the blue the mill and the yellow the town. It's crazy how these locations seem so real and permanent in the films but in real life, they're polystyrene and quickly dismantled. Apparently they never completed the "stone" work on the back side of the bridge since they weren't filming from the other side. Smart move.


The left side of the above lake:

When Sam and Frodo journey out of the Shire, Sam halts in the middle of a corn field and says "If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been." Well, that was filmed at the red line in this picture. Sam really didn't travel far did he?


I'm in Bag End!


I'm not in Bag End!



The red post is where the oak tree stood that Bilbo and Gandalf smoked next to overlooking the party field...

Peter Jackson went and found his desired oak tree on another farm and had it brought over to this farm. No big deal right? Well, not really. They took a picture of the tree, cut a branch off, numbered it, took a picture of it, took a picture of the tree again, and repeated the entire process until the entire tree was cut down. They reassembled said tree at the location of the red pole but since the tree was now dead, they had to import leaves from Taiwan to individually attach to the tree. And after all this tedious work and money, how much time did this tree get in the movie? 20 seconds. 20 whole seconds. 15 in The Fellowship, 5 in Return of the King. Does the good the Lord of the Rings movie does for humanity really justify the cost of creating those movies? I don't know.


SHEEPIES! Did you know that lambs have rather long tails? (Just hit the end of lambing season so there are oodles of them around!)


Sheep shearing time. How awkward does this look? Poor sheepy.


Naked sheepy =(


Feeding little lamblets!!


It's still hungry... Sucking on my finger!


Aww...


Then they gave us this deelicious snack at The Shire's Rest.


Scott has more detail: http://theyearofthehalfautumn.blogspot.com/

I must get ready for Mitai, a Maori cultural show and hangi dinner, hence this very brief post!

(edit: Two days later brings a lazy night so I've gone back and added stuff. It probably isn't good blog etiquette to not indicate what has been changed, but whatever. I rebel.)

On English

While preparing for this trip down under, there was a part of me that was disappointed that I wasn't going to a foreign country with a foreign language. Part of the fun of traveling is the language: the mishaps that occur when you're attempting conversation; the glee of successful communication no matter how minor the success; the fun of conversing with someone in broken snippets of multiple languages because you don't share a common first language; and the immediate camaraderie created when you ask someone for their name in their language. (Read more from last year's post On the Butcheration of Language)

But in being here in New Zealand and meeting people from all over the world (Germany and England mostly, but also Chile, Taiwan, Canada, Switzerland, Brazil, and the Netherlands), it has become clear that communicating in English is neither straightforward nor dull. Varied accents abound and communication mishaps still occur, especially with those with English as a second language.

Kiwi bus driver to Marisol from Chile: You don't have any mulk in there do ya?
Marisol: Mulk? What is mulk?
Kiwi driver: Mulk. Mulk, you know…
(beat of silence)
Marisol: Meelk? You mean meelk?
Kiwi driver: Yeah, yeah, mulk!

In case you haven't figured out, mulk is meelk is milk!

Even I, a native English speaker, have been thrown off by the Kiwi accent on several occasions.

On the drive north out of Auckland, our bus driver Mike was telling us stories of the Marys. The Marys this, the Marys that, the Mary belief this, the Mary legend that…

"What on earth?!" I thought, "I didn't know that Catholicism and the Virgin were so important here." Then the Kiwi-speak dawned on me. Ohhh, he's talking about the Maoris, not the Marys!

The same bus driver also pointed out good spots for Forest Chicken for all those interested. "What on earth?" I thought, "I didn't realize there were chicken in this area, much less forest chicken. What the heck is a forest chicken?!" I mean, later on I did see some chickens but only on wide grassy deforested fields. Then the kiwi-speak translation kicked in. Ohhh, he means forest trekkin', not forest chicken!

Then there are Kiwis who are in a class of their own. Tawhiri (TA-fee-ree, meaning Windy in Maori), our guide-to-be for the Footprints tour into the Kauri forest at night, came to our hostel to give us the tragic news that due to the horrendous downpour of rain that blessed their normally sunny region, our tour was canceled. "Do you think it'll be the same tomorrow?" we asked. Turns out, the area doesn't get a weather forecast so it'd be hard to tell. Tawhiri told us that the day before it looked like the weather would be bad all day but by nighttime it was perfectly fine. He continued to say that today looked like a beautiful day at first but now, in his words, "it's rainin' like the shitzu!" My dismay at the canceled tour was summed up beautifully by Tawhiri's epic expression, "Flippin' shucks, mate!"

That line sent me scurrying for my journal and a nonexistent pen. I've decided that that phrase should be added to my speech in daily life. Instead of saying things like 'shoot,' 'oh dear' or 'crap,' I should now say with great exuberance, FLIPPIN' SHUCKS MATE!!

(edit 10/8. I've got another one. Tonight at the Mitai Maori cultural show and hangi, our host told us on several occasions that we should learn a "moldy song" to support the chief of our 20-nation tribe. He playfully sang this "moldy song" to us line by line and we sang this "moldy song" back to him, line by line. What on earth is a "moldy song" you ask? Why, it's a Maori song! Oh the confusion.)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Bone Carving, In Pictures

My initial design in my journal copied over to the bone. It's a Fern! It only seems appropriate since my name is Fern and I'm in New Zealand where ferns are everywhere: in nature, in culture, in history, in logos..


Practice drilling. Which I turned into a semi-smiley face!


Cutting out the design with the drill in the background. This hurts the hands, greatly.


Done cutting!


Thinned and rounded...


No pictures of the filing and sanding and filing and sanding which took forever. I accidentally filed down several fingernails into odd shapes while filing my pendent.

This is Marisol from Chile doing the final sanding. She's a lovely quirky lady whom I really enjoyed. I'm glad we got to see her off and on over four ish days.

 
Thankfully, Jim drilled the hole into my fern. It was a delicate step which required hands far more skilled than mine. Here's a picture of him tying the cord into a necklace.


Final product!


I have to say, this ranks as my top NZ experience thus far. Jim picked us up from our hostel (Globetrekkers, also my favorite hostel thus far) and brought us to his home a few minutes away. Opononi (the tiny town we were in) just had a Country Music Festival (which I found oddly amusing) so Jim and his wife Charlotte had lots of their extended family wandering in and out of their home. They were completely natural and at home even with three complete strangers siting in their living room hunched over a piece of bone for 6+ hours. For lunch, Charlotte cooked us an insanely delicious meal of pumpkin soup and the best biscuits I've ever eaten. She sat and ate with us and shared their Maori culture, life, stories, beliefs, etc, with us.

I'm falling in love with Maori culture. It's poetic and beautiful and I can't do their stories justice with my poor memory. Granted, I've only had a taste of it and I haven't been exposed to any negative aspects, but still! Charlotte can recite her family history back 67 generations. Family history is held in high regard. It is respected so much that they only recite their family history when it holds meaning for those who listen. For us bone carvers, the names she would say would hold no meaning for us so Charlotte would never recite her history for us. For other Maori people she would, because a single recognized name in the recitation could be enough to link their histories together, thus connecting their webs of life.

As for the bone carving, Jim told us that as we wear the necklace, the bone pendant absorbs our body oil so that you become a part of it. When you pass it on to the next generation, they will have a part of you with them. Their body oil also becomes a part of the pendant so that both generations (or both people, whomever they may be) have a shared story and are connected through the pendant.


Friday, October 2, 2009

On Bikes

That is, on one bike. The shortest bike the Peppertree Lodge had to offer. Unfortunately, my shortness is quite outside the average shortness of this land. (And here I was thinking that hobbits lived here!)

Scott and I decided we'd take advantage of the free bikes our hostel had to offer here in Paihia. He was perfectly fine on his bike.

I, on the other hand, was a failure from the start.

While I could reach the handles and pedals just fine, the handles were still uncomfortably low and my legs were just too short to straddle the bike while on the seat and get pedalling before falling over.

So I fell over. Or at least. started to fall over before I caught myself on the wall of the hostel multiple times with multiple 'eeps!'

Pushing off like I was rappelling off the side of a horizontal mountain, I finally got moving. More accurately, I finally got wobbling.

Really falling over would be saved for when there would be witnesses to my failure! Of course!

All I did was ride off the curb and suddenly, pushing the pedals resulted in clicking noise rather than any sort of engagement or forward motion of the bike. I freaked out momentarily, wobbled back toward the curb and face planted into the sidewalk directly in front of a couple of tourists. Fail! Bike fail!

Granted, it was more of a hand plant and frankly, my pride was bruised far more than my palms. Scott was sweet and pedaled around (on a bike too short for him, of course) until my fail bike worked again.

Unfortunately I now had to remount my fail bike without the aid of an outside support to brace myself on. And it was pathetic sight. And there were more tourists ambling about to witness this pathetic sight! Wobble wobble eep! Wobble wobble.

Stopping was another challenge altogether. Once, I fell over. The next time I semi-fell over by running most of the bike into the curb and hopping off as the bike itself fell over. Sorry fail bike.

Eventually, after much wobbling and whoaaaa-ing, we made it down to a spiffy outcrop of barnacle-y rocks where I could cover some ground on my feet. I trust my feet. They don't roll. They fit me perfectly. They stop when I tell them to and I don't fall over when they start moving. Usually .

Then Scott suggested paying a visit to the grocery store further down the road. I eyed the little hill and tiny pathway beside the cars rumbling around the narrow curve and shuddered inwardly to think of me attempting (1) uphill (2) downhill and (3) a curve! on my fail bike.

Er, I think I'm going to head back, I told him.

On Scott's suggestion, I manage to successfully get the bike moving by straddling the lower portion in front of the seat first rather than attempting to swing my body over and onto the seat. It worked. Score! Take that fail bike! I score a minor minor victory! Hah! Booyah!

I celebrate with vigor. It helps my ego.

Stopping smoothly was another story. Me being a chicken, I couldn't bring myself to stop in time. When I finally did stop, it was in the middle of the entrance to the car park and it was executed by an awful awkward hop skip hop drag drag drag. Still, a minor success. Nothing touched the ground but my feet and the wheels! No hand plant, no bike plant, whoo! Score! Take that! Minor victory! Whoo!

Finally, at the back of the hostel, I manage to stop and dismount the bike with minimal awkwardness by hopping and stopping in front of the seat rather than on it. Score! Whoo! Minor victory! Wheee!

I curse all average to tall people, say good riddance to the fail bike and take my minor victories to potter off to a shady bench where I sit and sketch a church for two hours. This is one seat I can't awkwardly fall off!

Uh, I hope.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

On Maps

Maps are insanely deceptive. The real world hardly ever looks like what you'd expect from reading the lines on the page. What seems like a simple "go here, turn here, get there," or an even more straightforward "cross the street and boom, it's there," NEVER IS. Who put all these extra pathways and forks and buildings and vehicles in there anyway?

Maybe it has to do with the fact that when traveling, I'm invariably using maps that span a whole 4x3 inches on a guidebook page, maps that are crawling with colored bus routes, or maps given out by tourist offices that blare each tourist hotspot.

So combine the simplistic deceptive nature of maps with my complete lack of spatial judgment and you get today's adventure in Auckland…

After a morning with Scott in Davenport climbing Mt. Victoria, playing with large Mario mushrooms, and dropping curry chicken pies on the ground... Aaand after an afternoon in the Auckland Art Gallery listening to a spunky older woman give us a tour while huffing about how Pakehas get shafted for Maori rights… Today's late afternoon goal was to get from my hostel in Parnell (adjacent to the center of Auckland) to One Tree Hill and the surrounding park and observatory.

Step One. Get from St. Georges Road down to an area where 11 brightly colored bus routes converge, two of which should bring me by the upper end of the park. My previous day's walk to the Auckland Domain (another awesome park and museum) falsely convinces me that this is a short walk so I eschew the bright green Link bus that literally pulls to corner as I'm standing there in favor of walking.

My mistake? The walk to the converging routes is actually much much longer than it appears. And just because the lines are there doesn't mean that there are frequent stops along that colored line. I kept walking but couldn't find any bus stops. Neither could I figure out where the heck I was on the very un-detailed map. Desperate for a bus stop, I followed a bus turning down a street and promptly became even more lost and confused staring at the mocking map. I finally gave up and asked a kind Asian storekeeper for help. As it turns out, if I had just kept going on the original road I was on, I would have reached a very obvious bus stop in less than a block! Pfft.

Step Two. Get from this converging lines place down to One Tree Hill. "No problem!" I think. After all, the buses announce each stop and there's a road marked Greenlane West that goes straight through the park. I get on a bus and it trundles onward, but no detached voice helps my lost tourist self along. Does this bus just not stop? Did I get onto an express that goes for another hour?! Then it dawns on me. This isn't a bus frequented by tourists. People here know where they're going. No biggie. I'll just figure out where we are by the street names flashing by. But of course, my free maps are simplistic and cheerfully pretend these streets don't exist. Oh crap.

We halt by a stop named Comwell or Cornwall. Er, that sounds familiar. We pull away. Too late, I realize, "Shoot! That stop would have worked!" I stare hard at my bus map while hiding it beneath other papers in a sad attempt to mask the glaring fact that I'm a tourist. I glance up and out momentarily. "Greenlane West." We pull away. Sh**! That was my stop! We drive on and the surroundings become more and more residential. A litany of dang, crap and other four letter words surge through my head. A local bus rider requests a stop so I hop out behind her on a whim and trek back toward Greenlane West, shooting worried glances at the darkening sky.

Step Three. Get into the park from Greenlane West. Simple right? Greenlane West cuts right through the massive swath of green on the map. But all I see around me are walls. Where's the green!? I walk on doggedly, propelled by my distaste for backtracking. Surely I must have walked halfway across the green park by now. I sneak a peek at my map. I've walked a whole smidge. A tiny freaking smidge. I have a whole slew of smidges to walk before a road line crosses into the green.

But look! A map of green beckons from across the street! Surely a map of green will help me locate this green park I'm supposedly smack dab in the middle of.

I jab the crosswalk button and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. Finally the little green man appears. Confidently, I stroll across to peer at the green map only to read "Pedestrians use other side." The green map helpfully details the manner in which the sidewalk ends in a smidge on this side of the road. "But, but, but I just came from the other side of the road," I protest pointlessly. Dejectedly, I jab at the crosswalk button yet again.

Many smidges later, the road crosses the entrance to the park.

Step Four. Get to the south end of the park where the observatory is before dark. It's an insanely gorgeous green tree-filled shady park. It would be relaxing but for the darkening sky and the lack of pedestrians save for a runner or two. Every person there was a local exercising with workout clothes and no bags save a stroller or two. With my long pants, heavy jacket and bulging backpack, I screamed tourist. And even more awkwardly, I screamed alone.

Further down the road, I engaged my bus map in another staredown, trying to determine whether the left fork or right fork would get me to the observatory. I start following the one person I saw with a backpack down the left fork, but change my mind two seconds later and double back to the right fork, then double double back to the left fork two more seconds later when I change my mind again. I'm so confused. Finally I stop to ask a nice Kiwi couple with a stroller for help and they point me down the right fork. "About twenty minutes," they say in their delightful Kiwi accent, "you can't miss it." Just follow the yellow brick road! (Grey paved actually, but doesn't yellow brick just sound more fun?)

Step Five. Follow the [yellow brick] road. Finally I start to relax and enjoy the park. Dang, I would totally exercise every day if I lived near this park! I pass by a wedding photo shoot, a (closed) visitors center, more runners, then suddenly, SHEEP! Incredible numbers of sheep! Right next to the path, a few on it, and multitudes scattered across the sloping greens on either side of the road. I stop and gape. Then my tourist nature takes over and out comes the camera, ready to roll. I squeal and eep and teehee audibly and quite uncontrollably. They were just so cute! And fluffy! And ridiculous! And slightly pathetic with their "mehhhh" baaaing bleats. Now that I actually want the sparsely populated surroundings that I encountered when I was lost and confused earlier on in the park, of course I'd get to the section heavily populated by locals exercising. Figures. My blantant tourist excitement would have to have as many local witnesses as embarassingly possible. I mean, my god, has this girl never seen a sheep before?

Whatever. I yoinked out my camera anyway, squealing, eeping and giggling the whole way through. Sheepies, you made my bus and map ordeal SO worth it!

(That last bit was for you, Mooder!)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

On clouds and bladders, Round Two

(Round one from a year ago: On clouds and bladders)

I had no say in the matter this time.

Qantas only allows you to state whether you prefer clouds or bladders. (That is, window or aisle for those who just visited confusion.)

I'm all about the clouds. Ahem, I prefer clouds. Er, window. But, it was bladder that was assigned.

A disappointment at first, to be sure, especially when the gal who scored clouds promptly chose sleep in lieu of sprawling LA lights.

But as the flight progressed, the bladder did protest once... twice... thrice... But only mildly before the aisle seat proved it's worth and prevented mild protests from growing into full-scale rebellions.

I'm beginning to grow fond of this bladder seat. But to willingly choose bladder over clouds?

It feels like the day I started pairing my socks rather than wearing them gloriously mismatched. It feels like the day I stopped using goofy voicemail messages.

Oh wait, my name is currently recorded as "Fern, like a plant."

Fine. It feels like the gradual decrease in the goofiness of my voicemail messages.

In other words, a slow loss of a playful, impractical spirit. In other words, growing up.

That's depressing.

Where's Peter Pan when you need him? He doesn't have to choose between clouds and bladders. He can fly!